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and i think i'm boring, so if you're bored and you want to laugh at other boring people, welcome. but you don't necessarily have to tell me i'm boring though, *glances at tagboard*. sooooo, let's have a little talk about me.

aha!
i slept at 1030 the last few nights.
oh wait.
last night i slept at 1037.

I AM SO NOT HAPPY CAN. it's like.
7 minutes leh leh.
that's like 7 minutes less of sleep.
420 seconds less of sleep.
7 more minutes of lethargy.
7 less minutes to dream.
7 less minutes to pray.
TSK.
7 less minutes to enjoy the comfort of my bed!

so angry.
but tonight.
i want to sleep now ==
hahaha.
now don't know why i'm suddenly so.. happy to sleep.
i used to detest sleeping.
like, i loved to sleep.
but i loved to stay up late.
so usually i sleep late and wake up late.
but that happens on saturdays (:

anyway.
i can't sleep early tonight.
at least until my mama comes back.
coz i wanna negotiate with her so that i can eat out tmr for dinner with RVCC! :D
because.
we're going science centre for games theory tmr.
yupyup (:

and there's home econs tmr!
i'm cooking beehoon :DDDD
HAHAHAHA.

right.
i must remember to bring home my newspapers tmr so i can do my jianbao.
what else.


======
okay latest news!
muffin's half-year old dog called Mave Pepper Clementine is sick and is in hospital ):
everybody pray for him kays; he's in because of allergy to fungal medication.
YES! everybody wish him the best (:
======

ehehehehehehehehehehehhe.

aha! birthday wishes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANESSA! :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIAT PENG AKA BROTHER! :D

& i'm doing green day and mcr now ((:

everybody jiayou.

p/s my history will make history man. historically, it's the lowest marks i'm gonna get for history in all history. shiaaaat.

hello people.
when i finally make an effort to blog frequently, nobody comes.
TSK!

superstar krist is not pleased :D

hahahaha.
anyway.
i KNOW i wanted to blog about something specific.
but i can't remember what.

and i hereby predict:
my history test tmr is so gonna be history.

:O
uhoh.
:X

okay i am such a failure at html.
i wanted my second announcement to be big and COLOURFUL AND FLASHY, and i coded it to be white. =.=

anyway. i am leaving it in black already.
here i go again:

I HAVE OFFICIALLY GOTTEN OVER HIM.

alright.
i have to type quickly because my macbook ran out of battery and my dog chewed through my charger.
surprisingly, he didn't get a shock.
OKAY OKAY. stop digressing.
sheesh kristalynn.

hmm.
today i got back my theory test, and my geog :D
ytd i got back my practical test.
i am very proud of my tyco achievements (:

HERE THEY ARE!
theory - 33/40
practical - 11/20
geography - 17/20

nyahahaha :D
i don't know why;
but i'm itching to get my maths back;
and find that i've failed :D

HAHAHAHA.
yes i am excited.
ok.
NEXT topic.

i think i have successfully portrayed the very act of EMO-ING.
many times i have tried very hard to be emo, to the extent of adopting an air of solitude.
but TO NO AVAIL.
and yet one fine night, after spending hours on end editing this stupid skin, i find myself in a state of depression.
AHA!
so i have penned out my thoughts.
so i hereby declare;

SUPERSTAR KRIST :D has successfully gone into and got over her bout of depression and have mastered the art of being EMO. ((:

alright, thank you (:
and! ONE MORE THING TO ANNOUNCE MAN.
this has to be bigger; larger; more eyecatching.

I HAVE GOTTEN OVER HIM.

yup, so damn proud of myself. ((:
you know what?
i need a VENTI CUP OF MOCHA FRAPPUCINO from my precious STARBUCKS! tsk.

oh and bad news. DD:
it seems like whatever hope i harboured about being able to keep patchy has been happily dashed-
as mom says there's this stupid "potential owner" coming to check him out on saturday at 11.
what; is my dog some stupid showroom?
I AM SO WM.
so.
i'm looking for somebody who can date me AND my dog out on saturday at 10.59 am sharp.
anybody who's interested please tag ((:
i can cook a burnt egg, i can clean patchy's poo, and i promise to be home by 7 everyday to watch tv! :D

okay.
that's all folks.

I LOVE PHOTOSHOP, IT CAN KEEP ME OCCUPIED FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT AND MORE.
I SO LOVE URBAN :DDDD

trrrrrralalala.
actually i'm kidding about the date thing, coz i already have plans to run away to antarctica with patchy to live with the penguins.

kristalynn is proud of herself! :D

200th post.
how ironic it is that it's the 200th post; and it's destined to be an emo one.
ha ha.

this is my blog, and i shall post whatever i want.
i don't care what you think.
because no matter what everybody thinks, i'm still a person.
a human.
with raw emotions and surging feelings.
it isn't my fault that i hurt inside.
neither is it yours that you happen to feel weird while i rant.
so just leave me alone if you can't keep those comments to yourself.

i don't know why i feel like that.
i know i can't complain that i haven't got friends.
you have to be contented with what you have.
you can't just want more, and more, and more.
well it won't happen.

but sometimes.
sometimes, you're surrounded by friends.
but you're all alone.

i don't like that feeling.
it's not good to be a loner.
you don't have anyone to talk to.
you're all by yourself.

and it hurts to be alone.
it hurts alot.

ugh, i feel so pathetic.
why am i blogging like this.
i'm a superstar aren't i.
ha ha.
):

i wish i could just leave everything here.
and run away.
i don't know - perhaps to somewhere in antarctica.
then i'll be best friends with a penguin and we'll waddle all over the icebergs.
we'll play hide and seek and when we're hungry we'll go fishing.
and we'll keep fishing and eating and grow fat to stay warm.
and nobody would care.
because nobody else is there to care.
it'll only be the penguins, the fish, and i.
we'll have fun, won't we?
well.
won't we?

i have to say this.
i can't keep it in any longer.

you.
i love you.
yes i do.
and i don't know why.
i hate myself for loving you.
why - of all guys, why you?
i thought i'd already gotten over your lousy being.
but just as i thought i'd be happy again;
i found myself in love with you again.

i hate you.
i hate you for making me love you.
i hate you for making me sound like romeo.
i hate you for existing.
why on earth did you come into my life!
i was happy without you and all the complications that come with you.
i don't appreciate all the buy-one-get-everything-else-free offer.
you're ruining my life.
you're ruining my relationships.
you're ruining me.
and yet.
i still love you.

sure you're popular.
and if i may say so myself - i think i'm quite popular as well.
i don't know, it may all be a facade.
to deceive others is easy; to be deceived is easier.
i regret spending time with you.
you probably won't even read this.
because you could hardly care about me anymore, right?

i'm just an acquaintance, a normal friend.
you've got loads of them.
loads of normal friends.
and some, some are closer.
it hurts when i see you with them.
having so much fun.
and i can't even bring myself close to having fun with my own close buddies.
and i hate myself for that.

why am i brooding over this!
my life is perfect -
i've got great friends around me; great parents; a great dog; a great cca; a great family; a great God.
but why oh why.
I DETEST YOU, DO YOU KNOW THAT?!

ugh. i want to stop swearing already.
as a christian, i musn't swear.
):

sigh.
it hurts me alot alot alot.
everything that concerns you.
everybody that revolves around you.
definitely not me eh.
haha.
i'm trying to forget you already.
although you may not care about me anymore.
although i may mean nothing to you.
although you may ask, "Who are you?" to me in the near future.
although you may fall in love with someone else and tell her you love her.
although you may not appreciate what i've done for you.
although i end up all alone in this vast world.

if you ask me once again, i'll still tell you i love you.

oh man.
Lord, why do i feel like this.
i so totally hate myself now.
ugh ugh ugh.
kristalynn yue, you so totally suck bigtime.
whatever.

sorry, but bear with me please.
im really feeling so damn emo now.
!@#%^&*(
sorry for the incessant and never ending rants.
here i go again.
it's all a cycle.

i've already lost a close friend once.
he was my confidant, my best friend, my trustworthy pal.
and he loved God.
but i lost him.
we drifted and he's closer to my junior than he is to me now.
and to think that we were once best friends.
i thought we could be best friends.
i thought that maybe, just maybe, you and i, we could be like what me and the other friend were.
i thought that i'd be able to tell you everything, and i thought that i could be your listening ear.
i tried so hard.
but you didn't let me.
of course i couldn't just say it out loud - i have my pride y'know.
and you've got your own friends too.
and yet.
everytime i try to talk to you, you push me away.
and that's not all.
you say things.
things that hurt.
ugh.
everything hurts nowadays.
but more when you say it.
because, i wanted you to be my best friend.
you matter to me.

and now i'm losing you.
do you know that i'm crying because of you?
and i don't know why.
there are a million and one things i don't have a clue about.
i am so pathetic.
so what if i have a thousand and one friends.
they don't care about me.
i thought you did.
apparently you didn't, right?
and you pushed me away so roughly, i fell.
i fell deep into a bottomless pit and i can't ever find my footing again.
because this is the second time i've been left alone.
and there'll be nobody to pick me up.
because all the warm, inviting hands which once stretched into the pit i've fallen into to pick me up have long gone.
replaced by the cold tendrils of loneliness and desperation.

and as i see you get closer with another person.
as i watch from the sidelines.
i close my eyes and drown in the engulfing blackness surrounding me, pulling me down.
and i'll never reach the ground again.
i'll forever be held in midair, falling, falling, falling.
forever falling deeper into the pits of solitude.
no, it's not solitude.
because it's not my choice to be alone.
i've never had a choice.

at this rate, i'm gonna be needing alot of tape to paste the pieces of my heart back where they belong.
this is getting crazy.
i'm going insane.
maybe this is why i need a blog.
there are some things which you can't even talk about to your best friend.
but they may be easier to talk about with someone else, a total stranger.
life sucks.
i wish i could just get run down by a car and have amnesia and forget about this whole complicated shitass matter and start life anew.

no, actually i don't want that.
i'm afraid of pain.
i can't imagine how much it'll hurt to get bashed up by some stupid metal thing with rubber wheels.

well then. what do i want?
oh dammit.
i don't know.
maybe i just want somebody to walk with me for now.

everybody around me has somebody else with them.
it irks me somehow; all this love.
LOL - now ppl will think i'm despo for a stead man.

but hey.
i don't care what others think of me anymore.
they can say what they like.
because this is my life.
it sucks so much it can't get any worse.

now i realise.
i have God with me.
he'll always be with me
he's my abba father.
so even if the whole world turns against me.
even if the whole world hates me.
even if the guy i love despises me.
even if my best friends turn their back on me.
i have to continue living my life bravely.
for myself, for my family, for God.

and as i break down in tears tonight, i remind myself.
that i'll still love him.
that i'll still want to be your best friend.
that i'll still have God.

& i'll still be heartbroken and torn apart.

):


"Every little thing's gonna be alright."
hey delirious?
i'm not so sure about that anymore.

Labels: 200th post, delirious?, emo, friends, God, love

oh yeah. here's a post to reply my tags. for the first time huh huh huh! :D
but i'm not making this a habit. so after this, check the tagboard for the replies.
i'm only doing this coz there are just too many tagggggs :D
love you guys with the exception of CHIAMINGHAO.

Hao - yeah go die. == i'm pure and i don't do juniors. :D HAHAHA.

meien - yubyub trying very hard to revive this baby :DD heheh. what about yours leh leh. O.O

felicia - FELILITOOT~! ohman. don't needa try to cheer me up coz this blog is dead man. :X ILY ILY ILY ILY! :D *hugs*

lilypad - wah seh a typical example of zihigh-ness. HAHAHA. :D hello-oh~

YY - hiahiahia yes i know you're tagging :D HELLOS DA YUNYIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!! *tsktsk* HAHA.

Hao - ah shut up.

meilin(: - ahahaha hello-oh :D

chinhong - ah shut up too.

Hao - i refuse to answer your dumb tags.

:))ting - eh? where got? your blog is pretty much alive and kicking compared to mine.. DD: SIGH.

allen - weird leh, to call you allen, LOL. kp better. anyway. hello :D hahaha tagged lah. i think. hmm :X

meilin(: - huh spamming by chiaminghao ain't appreciated man :X fine fine i shall spam yours. :D


erch - HEY what's that supposed to mean? i AM pure okay! :DDD miss you muffin :X
meilin(: - okayokay. i'll do ten. how's that? :D

xiao-Ghost - yeah it's appreciated. get so what? i don't geddit. try again next time.

Hao - !@#$%^&*()_

chinhong - !@#$%^&*()_

xiao-Ghost - you talking to me or to the two !@#$%^&*()_s?

Sylvia;; - my friend? oh yeah my friend. HAHAHA. fine, you're a cow. aren't ya. :D

meien - HAHAHA this is your second tag here again :D yay for meien! ^^

ms - ahahaha thanks man :D now you know not to eat while reading my blog huh. HAHA. :D

miriam - aww thanks :D

meilin - hey what happened to your smiley? you're supposed to be meilin(: not meilin. BLEH. anyway. yes i WAS sleeping like a pig. super slack. rawrr. ahahahha :D you say chopchop just like good ole' kolotsuria menon :D

PEI JIA ! - aww someone misses me. HAHAHAHA. *blushes*

sofia - hey hello-oh :D aww thanks too. ((:

JESSICA:D - hello-oh fishie fish fish! :D hahaha tyvm.

Hao - !@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*()__+_)(*&^%$#@!~

xiao-Ghost - done! :D

meien - WOOHOO good job baby 3rd tag :D ahahaha. that's supposedly for urban kkays, the botak tree. haha. HAPPY CNY TOO :D

lilypad - ahaha yes i know DD: hehehe HAPPY CNY TO YOU TOO :D

erch - what you need is a venti cup of mocha frappucino. DELI-CIOUS. yumyum :D

meilin:D - eh? new smiley wor. :DD hahaha. yes i know. i need to revamp man! but with all the flooding tests, no time to find skin leh leh leh. how DD:

chinhong - yeah well both chia's and my blog's revived alr so R.I.P to yours dude. (:

xiao-Ghost - aiya replied your tag on your tagboard.

KRISTALYNN;; - hey hello good job for realising it == LOL. why am i talking to myself. tsktsk.

Hao - thanks for offering but no thanks. i'm not needing a chia like you. bleh :P

PEI JIA ! - what's up with the zzz nowadays. rah. done lah.

miriam - lol! yup i've realised that too. now i'm a reformed person, and i blog regularly :D

nina - yup replied your tag ((:

Hao - aiya shut up. tsk.

Nina - hey who do you know? according to someone who added me on msn, you know andre lee?

meilin - hannarh alr updated. :D yesyes finefine.. that's how attractive my blog is, LOL. okay okay.. sorraye :X nobody's looking for me to advertise stuff leh. HOWWWW. )): okay you say one ah. :D EVERYDAY!! yesyes i'm trrrrryin~~

Nina & meilin - righto now that things are cleared up. :D shake hands, people!

Hao - stop terrorizing my blog. only meilin can do that. anyway. it wasn't my fault can. it was chinhong and yongjie LOR. and i watched the mario thing liao. ROFLMAO!

erch - HI 5 BABAAAYE :D but no msn leh. HOW. i need guidance, teacher muffin.

yunfei - LOL! HAHAHA. i like reading books and mags and whatever when i poop too. that's why i take so super long lah.
HAHA. :D anyway. TOMORROWWWWWWWW!~ :DDDDD

====
okay that's all for now. :D
i started at 10.29, ended at 10.59, didn't do my revision 1.

dyinggggggggggggg;
diedddddddddddddd;
deadddddddddddddd;
R.I.P

yes, 5 more days to FUSION 2008 :D

wah lao. it's practically only me and yunyi going can ==
i invited samuel, weikai, sylvia, peijia, francis, and a few others i cant rmb.
samuel got tuition.
weikai harmed my brochure.
sylvia and peijia don't wanna.
francis can't make it.

ugh.

HOW HOW HOW!! x.x

who wanna come fusion please tag me thank you :D
everybody is welcomed.

and uh, no pets allowed?

it's roughly fom 3-10pm.
yes it's late, i know.
but still.
just go and experience God's touch yeah?
it's really.

COOL!

==========

& and i was this | | close to getting weikai's $24++.
just this | | close.
and why didn't we leave earlier.
before he realised it.
ah shiaaat.
DD:

hello fellow homo sapiens.

this is my first time blogging with mac osx, and i have decidedly fallen in love with it.
although stupid blogger refuses to let me blog in noob mode and only allows me to blog in html mode, the font looks much much much nicer plus the fact that my stupid keyboard works with mac osx makes it a SUPER plus point.

this post is very short.
yes yes i'll get around to updating a very long one soon, but seeing as there will be 5 tests this coming week, heh heh heh.
just be patient.
since you guys have waited this long, why not wait just at least a week more? huh huh huh? :D


woohoo!

TODAY IS SUNDAY.
6 MORE DAYS TO FUSION 2008, BABY!


uh huh; uh huh; uh huh; uh huh.
oh yeah; oh yeah; oh yeah; oh yeah.

this is a list of things i've gotta do:
-blog
-have a super long talk with lam sylvia the volcano cow
-explore mac osx
-hardcore shopping
-desperately catch up on sleep
-buy treatsies for patchy
-practice my exam pieces

before i go to BALI during the march holidays. :D

and and and.
during the march holiday week, FRIDAY! gonna have bbq/sushi feast at huishan's house with MRS JOANNA LEE :D

yay.


tests:
monday - science practical
tuesday - NIL
wednesday - science written
thursday - history
friday - maths and chinese

cca updates:
urban not done
thinkquest not done
tuesday sec1 orientation! :DDDD



gdnite ppl.