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and i think i'm boring, so if you're bored and you want to laugh at other boring people, welcome. but you don't necessarily have to tell me i'm boring though, *glances at tagboard*. sooooo, let's have a little talk about me.

Our very own class video, courtesy of our beloved Mui Sock (Mee Siam) :D
Thank you Mui Sock! :D We owe you a hugeeee favour!

Anyway, I found this quiz on her blog too and I find it insanely amusing. Here goes(:

Dear 2Dejavu-ians,

I don't really know how to tell you this but I'm joining your convent. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter in your car and I saw you pull the pants off of my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning the cut toenails to you but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon.

Go milk a cow,
Kristalynn :D

The quiz's here, by the way! It's damn funny and random lah, heh.

Dear (_Friend_),

I don't really know how to tell you this but (_1_).
I think I realized it (_2_) (_3_) and I saw you (_4_) (_5_).
I'm sure you're (_6_) enough to understand (_7_).
I'm returning (_8_) to you but I'll keep (_9_) as a memory.
You should also know that I (_10_) and (_11_).

(_12_)

1. What's the colour of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black - I dislike your eyelashes
Green - Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other - I'm in love with your cat

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - Last year when you peed your pants
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When you smacked my ass
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - When I quoted Forest Gump
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna - In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat - With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4. What's the colour of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put whipped cream on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5. What's the colour of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink - The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
None - My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - The elephant in the corner

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Sly
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Scarred
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Annat; Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumbkid
Other - That your driving sucks

8. What's the colour of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - Your Elton John poster
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from Vegas
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your car

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
C/D - The oil tank from your car
E/F - Your neighbour’s dog
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of that blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your glass eye
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Never will forget that night
E/F - Always wanted to break your legs
G/H - Hate your cooking
I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always will remember the pep talks
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z - Am better off without you

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water - Our friendship is ruined
Beer - you should stop picking your nose
Soft drink - I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda - I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Wine - Thanks for the Cocaine
Cider - I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Liquor - I chew on your earlobes while you sleep
Other - I'm scratching my ass as you read this

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex-change
England - Good luck in jail
Spain - Go drown yourself
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Kiss my butt
France - With tears of sadness

Okay serious already.
Today was the last day of school, finally.
I never thought today would come in the blink of an eye.
Day after day passed, and I thought, we still had a long way ahead.

Now, we do still have a long and arduous journey ahead.
But yet not together as a class.

So I want to take this time to make a feeble attempt at trying to manipulate words in a way that is sincere enough to express my love for 2dejavu.
Yes, that's it.
I know what this feeling is.
It's joy; it's happiness; it's fondness; it's reluctance; it's sadness.
But most importantly, it's love.

I never knew what it felt like to be truly part of a class, to feel like I belonged here and nowhere else in this big, big world. There were times where I've felt so lost, so alone, because I didn't know where I belonged, where I was supposed to be. But the moment I step into the atmosphere of 2d, I know. This is home. Where I belong. With my family.

Despite the tough times we've forced our way through, a fact has established itself: Nobody can don't love 2d. Everybody loves 2d, some way or another. :D

Along the way, there's been a lot of conflicts, and people started to develop some negative feelings. But in the end, there's no way you can hate us. We're so kawaiix nehhxz! :D

Oh well, today marks our last day together. Last night, as I was typing out the previous post, I was worried I couldn't cry today ._. But I guess there's nothing wrong with me after all, 'cos I cried bucketloads in the end. All Mrs Goh's fault lah! She had to go and make this super emotional speech and stuff.

I thought she didn't like us, 'cos we were forever giving her trouble (read previous post about pissing teachers off), but today, when she declared her love for us, I just cried o.o Sorry lor, too touched already. (sniff)

And so, everybody started to cry. We had this last few words session, whereby whoever wanted to say something to the class could just say it out. A few, like Vicki and Ying Wai, spoke halfway and suddenly starting crying. I don't look down upon them, I'm actually proud of them, because this shows their love for 2d.

Even the guys started to cry. Silly Yu De, Ying Wai, and Chin Hong, you three dodos cried the most. As I looked around, I realised that 2d was crying the most. For the other classes, at most it's only the girls who cried. When I looked back upon 2d as a normal passer-by, what I see is a whole family crying together. This is what differentiates us from other classes. And I dare say that 2d is the most bonded class in the whole level.

According to Averil's blog, "Words do express how we feel. When we feel that words can't express how we feel, we say, "Words can't express how I feel right now." And, there! You've expressed your feelings through words! Words, are important and that's why I'm gonna use it to say how I feel."

I know I've already sent an email to most of the 2d-ians regarding the chalet, and have also included my words. But I'm going to declare it here too.

I love each and every single one of you, 2dejavu-ians.
Every one of you.
I love you.

I couldn't it in class, I was tearing too much already. But as the day draws to an end, let's wish the 3 musketeers who're leaving us to begin a new journey the best of luck.

Qian Yi, Chen Hui, Wei Kai:
Go out there and do us proud alrights! (This sentence may not apply to the last musketeer though ._.) Good luck in all your future endeavours. Don't ever forget us! ;D We love you! (hearts hearts hearts)

As Samuel & I shouted the last "起立, 行礼" for the year 2008, I've never felt more at home. And as we did 3 cheers, all I felt for you guys, was pride, and love. I know lah, damn corny lah, but whatever. YES, I LOVE YOU ALL! :DD

No other class will be able to replace beloved 2D 2008. There'll always be this huge chamber of space in my heart occupied by 2Deja Vu '08.


Cheers, everybody.
Let's welcome the new year with open hearts and embrace the sweet past in our souls.

You're unforgettable.

And guess what? It's 11.11 pm now. :D

Class Chalet; 10th to the 12th!
HOHOHO.
xDD

Labels: 2deja vu, love

2d, I don't know what I'll do without you.

I love you so so so so so so so so (this goes on forever) so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much.

Really! :D

I spent the best two years of my 14-year life with you people, crazy or not.
Thank you for everything you've given me:
Fun, laughter, peace, joy!
Happiness, contentment, comfort, love!
Friendship, excitement, noise, irritation!
EVERYTHING.

You are my life, my world, my friends.

And I love you all for that.

I'll never forget this class, OUR class, class 2D of the year 2008, River Valley High School.


Oh yeah. :D
Chalet pleasezccxzxczxxzxxzxzxzcxczxzcxzxccczxzcxcz!

Labels: 2D, love, Unforgettable

read this. i cried. and i'm not afraid to admit it.

A TEENAGER'S VIEW OF HEAVEN
17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. 'I wowed 'em,' he later told his father, Bruce. 'It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote..' It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. 'I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it,' Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. 'I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him.'

Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked.' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friends I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given,' 'Jokes I Have Laughed at .' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it,seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. 'No!' I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, 'It is finished.' I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'
-Phil. 4:13

'For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.'

If you feel the same way forward it so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also.
My 'People I shared the gospel with' file just got bigger, how about yours?

Labels: God, love, sacrifice

it's been two exact weeks.
and i may never see you again.
===
can i rant first? i promise to be a good girl and update soon (: about something happy! ;D
btw.
i'm trying to capture 11.11 everyday for this week.
whether or not i saw it by chance or purposely, i'm gonna capture it.
and i've alr got monday and tuesday. it's just 3 more days.
(:
===
y'know. i may never see patchy again. coz it's like. i was supposed to go visit him. then my mom lost her phone one day. and then she lost his new owner's number and address. so she can't contact them anymore. and it's not like they will call us or something.

i'm not the only one who's lost my dog. i know two others. the thing we all have in common; we never got to say goodbye.

why do all parents / adults / people think it's best if we don't see them go? why do you feel that we'd feel better if we didn't personally see them go away?

that's not true.

after reading jayjay's blog, i thought about stuff.

you assume that it's better that we don't see them. for our own good.
you're thinking of our feelings.

but what about them?
fine, they're dogs.
SO WHAT MAN!
they're still LIFE.
they're still God's creations.

when you're all alone in this world.
when it's dark and cold.
when you're shivering and chills are running up your spine.
when you need a hug the most.
when you need somebody to tell you they love you.
when you see your only friend walking away.

you know what i'll think?
They don't want me anymore.

NO. i don't want him to think that way.
BECAUSE. i still love him.
NO MATTER WHAT. he'll always be my best friend.

i don't want him to think that i don't love him anymore.
i don't want him to think that i don't want him anymore.
i don't want him to get the feeling that i'm throwing him away.
i don't want him to think that i'm no longer his friend.

and when he's alone in an entirely new environment.
i don't know how he'll feel.
perhaps dogs don't have emotions.
i don't know.

i still worry for him.


2 BLOODY FRIGGIN' WEEKS.
shit kristalynn, wth is wrong with you?
LOL!


& i may never see him again.
i was promised that he'll still be in my life-;
why did it turn out to be empty?





"That's when I love you"

by Aslyn


When you have to look away
When you dont have much to say
Thats when I love you
I love you, just that way
To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
Thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly
And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget Im waiting in the rain
Baby i love you,
I love you anyway
Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
WhenI love you no matter what
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
Thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time
And when you cant quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
Thats when I love you
I love you, more than youll know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you get when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway
Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
Thats when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
No matter what

Labels: dog, love, rant

200th post.
how ironic it is that it's the 200th post; and it's destined to be an emo one.
ha ha.

this is my blog, and i shall post whatever i want.
i don't care what you think.
because no matter what everybody thinks, i'm still a person.
a human.
with raw emotions and surging feelings.
it isn't my fault that i hurt inside.
neither is it yours that you happen to feel weird while i rant.
so just leave me alone if you can't keep those comments to yourself.

i don't know why i feel like that.
i know i can't complain that i haven't got friends.
you have to be contented with what you have.
you can't just want more, and more, and more.
well it won't happen.

but sometimes.
sometimes, you're surrounded by friends.
but you're all alone.

i don't like that feeling.
it's not good to be a loner.
you don't have anyone to talk to.
you're all by yourself.

and it hurts to be alone.
it hurts alot.

ugh, i feel so pathetic.
why am i blogging like this.
i'm a superstar aren't i.
ha ha.
):

i wish i could just leave everything here.
and run away.
i don't know - perhaps to somewhere in antarctica.
then i'll be best friends with a penguin and we'll waddle all over the icebergs.
we'll play hide and seek and when we're hungry we'll go fishing.
and we'll keep fishing and eating and grow fat to stay warm.
and nobody would care.
because nobody else is there to care.
it'll only be the penguins, the fish, and i.
we'll have fun, won't we?
well.
won't we?

i have to say this.
i can't keep it in any longer.

you.
i love you.
yes i do.
and i don't know why.
i hate myself for loving you.
why - of all guys, why you?
i thought i'd already gotten over your lousy being.
but just as i thought i'd be happy again;
i found myself in love with you again.

i hate you.
i hate you for making me love you.
i hate you for making me sound like romeo.
i hate you for existing.
why on earth did you come into my life!
i was happy without you and all the complications that come with you.
i don't appreciate all the buy-one-get-everything-else-free offer.
you're ruining my life.
you're ruining my relationships.
you're ruining me.
and yet.
i still love you.

sure you're popular.
and if i may say so myself - i think i'm quite popular as well.
i don't know, it may all be a facade.
to deceive others is easy; to be deceived is easier.
i regret spending time with you.
you probably won't even read this.
because you could hardly care about me anymore, right?

i'm just an acquaintance, a normal friend.
you've got loads of them.
loads of normal friends.
and some, some are closer.
it hurts when i see you with them.
having so much fun.
and i can't even bring myself close to having fun with my own close buddies.
and i hate myself for that.

why am i brooding over this!
my life is perfect -
i've got great friends around me; great parents; a great dog; a great cca; a great family; a great God.
but why oh why.
I DETEST YOU, DO YOU KNOW THAT?!

ugh. i want to stop swearing already.
as a christian, i musn't swear.
):

sigh.
it hurts me alot alot alot.
everything that concerns you.
everybody that revolves around you.
definitely not me eh.
haha.
i'm trying to forget you already.
although you may not care about me anymore.
although i may mean nothing to you.
although you may ask, "Who are you?" to me in the near future.
although you may fall in love with someone else and tell her you love her.
although you may not appreciate what i've done for you.
although i end up all alone in this vast world.

if you ask me once again, i'll still tell you i love you.

oh man.
Lord, why do i feel like this.
i so totally hate myself now.
ugh ugh ugh.
kristalynn yue, you so totally suck bigtime.
whatever.

sorry, but bear with me please.
im really feeling so damn emo now.
!@#%^&*(
sorry for the incessant and never ending rants.
here i go again.
it's all a cycle.

i've already lost a close friend once.
he was my confidant, my best friend, my trustworthy pal.
and he loved God.
but i lost him.
we drifted and he's closer to my junior than he is to me now.
and to think that we were once best friends.
i thought we could be best friends.
i thought that maybe, just maybe, you and i, we could be like what me and the other friend were.
i thought that i'd be able to tell you everything, and i thought that i could be your listening ear.
i tried so hard.
but you didn't let me.
of course i couldn't just say it out loud - i have my pride y'know.
and you've got your own friends too.
and yet.
everytime i try to talk to you, you push me away.
and that's not all.
you say things.
things that hurt.
ugh.
everything hurts nowadays.
but more when you say it.
because, i wanted you to be my best friend.
you matter to me.

and now i'm losing you.
do you know that i'm crying because of you?
and i don't know why.
there are a million and one things i don't have a clue about.
i am so pathetic.
so what if i have a thousand and one friends.
they don't care about me.
i thought you did.
apparently you didn't, right?
and you pushed me away so roughly, i fell.
i fell deep into a bottomless pit and i can't ever find my footing again.
because this is the second time i've been left alone.
and there'll be nobody to pick me up.
because all the warm, inviting hands which once stretched into the pit i've fallen into to pick me up have long gone.
replaced by the cold tendrils of loneliness and desperation.

and as i see you get closer with another person.
as i watch from the sidelines.
i close my eyes and drown in the engulfing blackness surrounding me, pulling me down.
and i'll never reach the ground again.
i'll forever be held in midair, falling, falling, falling.
forever falling deeper into the pits of solitude.
no, it's not solitude.
because it's not my choice to be alone.
i've never had a choice.

at this rate, i'm gonna be needing alot of tape to paste the pieces of my heart back where they belong.
this is getting crazy.
i'm going insane.
maybe this is why i need a blog.
there are some things which you can't even talk about to your best friend.
but they may be easier to talk about with someone else, a total stranger.
life sucks.
i wish i could just get run down by a car and have amnesia and forget about this whole complicated shitass matter and start life anew.

no, actually i don't want that.
i'm afraid of pain.
i can't imagine how much it'll hurt to get bashed up by some stupid metal thing with rubber wheels.

well then. what do i want?
oh dammit.
i don't know.
maybe i just want somebody to walk with me for now.

everybody around me has somebody else with them.
it irks me somehow; all this love.
LOL - now ppl will think i'm despo for a stead man.

but hey.
i don't care what others think of me anymore.
they can say what they like.
because this is my life.
it sucks so much it can't get any worse.

now i realise.
i have God with me.
he'll always be with me
he's my abba father.
so even if the whole world turns against me.
even if the whole world hates me.
even if the guy i love despises me.
even if my best friends turn their back on me.
i have to continue living my life bravely.
for myself, for my family, for God.

and as i break down in tears tonight, i remind myself.
that i'll still love him.
that i'll still want to be your best friend.
that i'll still have God.

& i'll still be heartbroken and torn apart.

):


"Every little thing's gonna be alright."
hey delirious?
i'm not so sure about that anymore.

Labels: 200th post, delirious?, emo, friends, God, love